Watch this, and hang on for the last few seconds, no matter how much you feel like heaving.
Apparently the Chinese have a way of deep frying the back end of a fish, while keeping the head end alive. Well, alive long enough for it to watch you tuck into its own body.
Communism and no human rights has a great affect on a Chefs creativity clearly. Gordon Ramsay look out.
Almost all the news yesterday was about the Glasgow North East by-election. I’ve never lived there but I did work in and around the area for years and I know well enough about the deprivation and lack of jobs.
The results were no great surprise to most with Labour holding onto the seat with over 12,000 votes, second were the SNP with about 4,000 and then it was a close call between the Torys and the BNP with only 62 votes separating them. I’ll leave the significance of this alone for the moment and skip to my main point.
Glasgow North East has some of the worst deprivation and crime rates in Glasgow. It is one of the highest areas for unemployment in Scotland. It’s also home to the shortest life expectancy for a man in EUROPE and Labour are voted back into power AGAIN on the promise of more jobs, better education and the promise that the expensive railway line to the Airport that all the rich people use will be cancelled to pay for more benefits for poor people in the North East of Glasgow. I agree with better education for them, but only if they are educated to realise that the Labour Party hasn’t delivered for the past 74 years that they’ve been in power there, so why should they start now?
I don’t have an ulterior motive here, I’m not saying vote Jibrovian Liberationist or anything. I just wish these people would wake up to the fact that there are other choices out there, that’s what Democracy is for! If the last mob didn’t do it for you, then get someone else in.*
If you got a plumber in to fit a washing machine for you, and he flooded your house, and that of your neighbours, and then charged you £1000 for the pleasure, would you recommend him to your friends and invite him round to fit your new cooker 4 years later? I don’t think so. So why should politics be any different?
*Someone else excluding “Mikey” from Big Brother or John bloody Smeaton.
To the guy who offered my son a “whirl” in his green Rover tonight while he was walking home from school. What the fuck were you thinking about? Either you are totally oblivious to the fact that a scruffy middle aged man asking a 12 year boy if he wants a lift is really suspicious, or, you were a genuine paedophile who actually took “no” for an answer.
Either way, you’ve been reported to Newarthill’s finest who arrived in an impressive 15 minutes from phoning the local station. Go get ‘im boys.
You must have heard the story of Balloon boy Falcon Heene by now. We all know it’s a hoax now but it’s amazing the different way it was reported on TV to how it was reported on the Internet.
TV News: BREAKING NEWS! A boy has been caught up in a freak home made balloon accident when the giant experimental balloon broke free from it’s moorings while a 6 year old child was inside it’s basket.
TV news helicopters are scrambled and follow the balloon at 7500ft for 2 and a half hours relaying live pictures of it that are beamed out live to viewers all over the world, who sit at the edge of their seats, looking closely at the screen to watch for movement from within. An international airport is shut down in case a passing aircraft dislodges the boy. The balloon lands hours later and a major hunt is launched along the flightpath when it is found to be empty. 4 hours later the boy is found safe and well after allegedly being in the loft of the house the whole time.
Time elapsed: 8 hours.
Internet News: Internet Geeks have spotted the headlines coming up on Twitter and media forums. Within moments Internet Geeks have calculated the size and volume of the balloon by scaling it with passing helicopters and triangulating it’s position. A few moments later Internet geeks have finished their calculations and worked out the lift coefficient of a specific volume of Helium based on temperature and wind direction and concluded that it would be impossible for it to lift a 40lb 6 year old child, and utilising Occam’s Razor have deduced that therefore it must be a hoax. Results, including workings, are posted to Twitter, Facebook, Forums and Newsgroups. Geeks then go back to playing World of Warcraft with their made up friends.
Time elapsed: 2.45 minutes.
When in doubt, trust the geeks.
You may have heard about the climate protests today by the likes of Camp for Climate Action and Plane Stupid at Ratcliffe-on-Soar power station. So far there have been 21 arrests, a large part of the boundary fence has been torn down and a Police Officer has been airlifted to hospital with serious injuries. Hardly the ingredients of a peaceful protest.
Here’s a quote from Richard Bernard, a spokesperson for Climate Camp. Speaking about the Police and their threat to arrest anyone breaking the law. As that is their job, to me it seems like a reasonable threat.
“This is clear intimidation — they're just trying to scare us. But what's really scary is climate change and that's why we're going to take control of Ratcliffe on Saturday.”
Eh? What? The Police said they’ll arrest anyone who commits aggravated trespass or criminal damage against a critical part of our country’s infrastructure. And quite rightly so, as these are the acts of eco-terrorists who believe they have some sort of moral high ground.
But “They’re just trying to scare us..? “excuse me but what about this Fairy Story?* If that isn’t scare mongering on an irresponsible scale then I have no idea what is. Little 4 year girls are drowning puppies every time they switch on a light apparently.
*I couldn’t bring myself to have a fourth blog post in a row containing a video, so a link to it will keep my conscience clear.
First of all, apologies for posting yet another video as an excuse for a blog post. Normal service will resume shortly.
Let’s go back a while to here, where I explain my fear of heights. To be clear, I can handle being in a plane or a tall building, or even on top of a mountain, which i happen to quite enjoy, but I can’t handle being somewhere where a small stumble, a trip or slip would lead to me plummeting uncontrollably to my death upon sharp pointy rocks.
I’m not sure if it’s strictly vertigo, but even when I watch or see photos of other people doing something risky while high up my feet begin to tingle and the palms of my hands sweat profusely, sure in the knowledge that a tiny mistake will lead to sudden death.
I was directed to this video from a Twitter link by “walkscotland” who discusses hillwalking in Scotland. If you think you could attempt all of the walk in the video (which happens to be in Spain) then you’re a braver man (or woman??) than me.
Enjoy
If this video doesn’t define “Fun” then I don’t know what does.
For two and a half minutes of this video you’ll be thinking to yourself, “I really want to see this scummy chav wanker crawl out of that garden holding his face”, but you know it’s unlikely to happen, then…
POW!!
GO ON MY SON!
Confidence and restraint like that can only come from being a black-belt in something oriental and hard to say.
I’ve got no idea what the argument is about, it may well be that the guy in the black T-shirt is the local paedophile, in which case, better luck next time skinhead.
By the way, what a fucking shithole of a neighbourhood.
Scunnered
1. Scots word meaning meaning to be disgusted, bored or simply fed up
“Look at the face on him! He's well scunnered. “
Scunnered
2. A Scots word used to mean that you are world weary, down-trodden, and thoroughly bereft of any lust for life when these words and expressions are simply too inadequate to signify the magnitude of your slide into "shitdom".
I’m there, see ya in a bit.
